To be a better me....

I've been sitting in my living room, trying to have some "me" time.

 Read a book, write in my journal...watch Project Runway.

But midway through PR, all the thoughts that have been running through my head today, well not even just today...for the last few weeks, boiled up to the point that I couldn't just smash them down and zone out.

Time to face the feelings:

I'm 30

 

Yes, I know when I plan a party that includes dressing up in neon and running around town reenacting scenes from 80's movies it might not SEEEEEM that way, but while I'm keeping my ridiculous and silly side of me intact, I'm tweaking some stuff... we all can grow right?

I think too often we get too prideful.

"This is who I am, this is how I was made. Deal"

OK, but were we made to be snarky? rude? sassy? uncaring? prideful? vain?

Nah.

But we're imperfect, I get it. Hello, I LIVE it. 

But I'm making a choice, a conscious voluntary choice.

To grow.

In homeschooling:

Making our 2nd year even greater than the last, but not having ridiculously high expectations of my kids or myself. To not feel like I have to prove my worth as a "teacher" to others, to not feel embarrassed when the kids don't know an answer to a question, to realize that they are LEARNING, as I am learning. 

In my health:

To be healthier.

To eat well, drink more water and less soda, exercise but not become obsessive about it.

Not to do it because of that picture on Pinterest of the girl with the body of an Olympian,

 not to do it for the desire of compliments, but for ME.

 Because it's not fun looking in the mirror and hating what I see, to feel like living in this body is the worst form of torture.

Because running out of breath after 10 minutes of working out is embarrassing.

Because I want to be an example to my kids and not feel like a hypocrite when I tell them to go outside and ride their bikes and play, while I sit and read (or check Facebook).

In my relationships:

to understand that everyone will not always like me.

To be honest about my feelings, but not about ALL my feelings. 

To understand that some relationships just aren't meant to be a big part of my life, not everyone is going to be in my "constant contact wheel"  at all times because I am one person. And they are too. 

In my faith: 

to not just jot down notes on Sunday then inevitably toss them later that week. I wrote those notes with a PURPOSE. I will journal them to look back on when I'm struggling.

To understand that I am nothing without Him, this includes all facets of my life. I will begin my day in the Word, and yes this means I will wake up earlier, but I'm tired of being too selfish with my time. I can't give Him 30 minutes every morning? REALLY? 

This is it my friends, these are my goals.

I know I'll stumble at times, 
but I'm not going into this lightly. 

I'm determined, I'm serious.

I'm gonna be the best me I can be.

Cause I'm 30, remember?

Wanna join me in this growing up business?
 Let me know and let's communicate and encourage each other!