Thankful for new days!

As I sit here and sip my tea tonight, I reflect on my day. 

Here's what today should have looked like if I made the conscious effort to focus on the positive:

Sunny. Warm. Beautiful. Relaxed. Fun.

If only I would have let myself enjoy it.

But no, today I chose to focus on MY negative, I chose to let the enemy stick his ugly nose into my life, to dig in there and let insecurity stay awhile, let envy slither it's way into my thoughts and money woes laze about.

"It takes it's place so stealthily, happy to get a hold of me.

 Mind wandering, heart desiring. Envy so green."

I felt like I could write a novel on my insecurities! 

But instead I wrote in my journal, and though my writing is amateur, it is in fact my heart:

She's known for her smile and crinkly eyes.

She fools even herself with this happy disguise.

A battle, a fight to hold fast to what's right.

She clings to the good with all of her might.

Once she let's the battle go, there's no turning back.

And like a delicate shell, her resolve starts to crack.

Lines like veins form upwards and out.

She let go of the Rock, she gave in to the doubt.

First a leak, then a pour, rushing through like a current.

She forgot what she's here for, she had no endurance.

Lost in the game of desire and need.

She fell into the sin that you all know as greed.

It took her smile, it stole her grace.

It replaced it with sadness that showed on her face.

Amidst the longing for material things, she hears so softly a whispering.

"Take comfort my child, hold fast to your heart, 

know my Truth of which the world has no part.

Beyond money, looks and fame.

 Beyond the desire that brings your shame.

I call to you now, to end this plight. 

Go forward, be YOU and shine brilliantly bright"

Though writing these thoughts out wasn't a quick fix that leaves me sitting here smiling and the same ole "Oh look a rainbow!"  me ...it's a start. 

And tomorrow is a new day.

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