Even loudmouths get the blues

To the observer of my life, things look pretty wonderful!

 And to be honest, so much of it is...we just spent the last few days "detoxing from technology"

 (minus my phone which took all these pics, but that's all it did! Oh and our Kindles that we read on, I'm keepin' it real.)

and spending some relaxing family time together, no plans, no agenda. 

Just the sound of the river and our talking.

(and our dogs barking at every dog that passed)

Silly moments are always necessary

early morning and we're smiling, that's the life!

a rare request from Roo to snuggle? I'm in heaven!

I am blessed, I believe that, I know that, I'm thankful every day for that.

But...

I'm in a season right now.

I feel something big....something wonderful and beautiful coming my way.

 I really do.

But right now, I just want to unplug, I don't want to have deep conversations, I don't want to debate opinions, I don't want to show my heart, I don't want to read anything that hurts, I don't want to say anything that could hurt.

 I just want to give my heart a break. If that makes sense. 

(Don't wanna break your heart, wanna give your heart a break!...you know you were all thinking it!)

So I think I will.

I'll text as needed, I'll call or message as needed.

But I HAVE to remove myself from what I am taking internally that is hurting.

The thing is, I gotta step back. Strengthen MY heart, who I AM, and not feel worthless so easily, it's just ridiculous how quickly the enemy can jump in and twist my thoughts around. 

I need to remember how He sees me, and be just that.

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 

² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, 

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Romans 12:1-8

(full chapter here)

Until I plug in again!

 Lots of love, rainbows and silliness.

What do we give for?

Pride.

It comes in many forms.

But lately it's been on my heart to talk about pride in the form of...boasting.

You know we've all done it.

It starts in our children.

I've already had this conversation many times with my very own brood.

"Mom, he just sat and played, but I *drawn out to make sure I was aware who was the bigger person in this situation* just cleaned up my room, and...and I made my bed without being asked!"

"That's great, thanks so much...now why did you do that?"

*Insert blank stare here*

(because clearly it was for either the glory of being the top dog for the day, or candy...most likely both)

"You know that when we do something kind, that's great but...we're not supposed to be doing it for a recognition. 
That takes the sincerity out of it"

*then I have to explain what sincerity & recognition mean*

But what about when we're "all grown up"?

Don't we STILL desire that

source

Or how about?

source

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes these gestures are comforting...encouraging. Like when you've been working hard at eating right, or exercising or overcoming a hurdle in your life. In these times or times like it, everyone could use some friendly encouragement.

But how about those times, when we're led very strongly by the Holy Spirit to help those in need?

 To talk to a friend who's struggling? Sponsor an orphan? 

 Send off a Christmas present to needy children?

  Give money to a struggling family?

In those times, I've found when I tell others about it...

it takes the joy away.

I suddenly feel insincere.

 And listen I'm not saying this is true for all, but it's true for me.

I remember when I was 9 years old at a private school I went to, during the morning assembly the pastor came up and spoke about giving for the right reasons, that when we're giving because we've been led to...nobody but Him needs to know.

 That in itself is a beautiful gift, and I'm telling you it has stuck with me since!

And I've been frustrated this week because I could not remember the verse that goes along with this sentiment for the life of me. Until this morning when the guest speaker at our church brought it into his sermon:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven."

Matthew 6:1 

Let's be on fire for Christ my friends, TOTALLY!

Not for our name to be glorified

 but for His Name alone.