Even loudmouths get the blues

To the observer of my life, things look pretty wonderful!

 And to be honest, so much of it is...we just spent the last few days "detoxing from technology"

 (minus my phone which took all these pics, but that's all it did! Oh and our Kindles that we read on, I'm keepin' it real.)

and spending some relaxing family time together, no plans, no agenda. 

Just the sound of the river and our talking.

(and our dogs barking at every dog that passed)

Silly moments are always necessary

early morning and we're smiling, that's the life!

a rare request from Roo to snuggle? I'm in heaven!

I am blessed, I believe that, I know that, I'm thankful every day for that.

But...

I'm in a season right now.

I feel something big....something wonderful and beautiful coming my way.

 I really do.

But right now, I just want to unplug, I don't want to have deep conversations, I don't want to debate opinions, I don't want to show my heart, I don't want to read anything that hurts, I don't want to say anything that could hurt.

 I just want to give my heart a break. If that makes sense. 

(Don't wanna break your heart, wanna give your heart a break!...you know you were all thinking it!)

So I think I will.

I'll text as needed, I'll call or message as needed.

But I HAVE to remove myself from what I am taking internally that is hurting.

The thing is, I gotta step back. Strengthen MY heart, who I AM, and not feel worthless so easily, it's just ridiculous how quickly the enemy can jump in and twist my thoughts around. 

I need to remember how He sees me, and be just that.

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 

² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, 

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Romans 12:1-8

(full chapter here)

Until I plug in again!

 Lots of love, rainbows and silliness.

My imperfections, through her imperfections.

I have a confession.

I'm not the perfect mom.

Whoa. Mind blown. I know!

I love my munchkins, I find myself stopping and just listening to them, 

or watching their interaction and tearing up with gratefulness.

I hug them everyday, I tell them I love them every day. 

I do.

But, sometimes I also get frustrated, I raise my voice when I really 

should just stay calm, I blurt out my frustration instead

 of showing grace and self control.

Confession number two:

And I've been guilty of really, truly disliking my daughter Roo's attitude lately.

I let myself get to the point where I didn't WANT to hang around her.....

Ouch, right?

She had some situations where she was being incredibly sneaky,

 she was outright lying and nothing I was doing was making it better.

I showed her the scriptures that speak specifically about lying.

I had long talks with her about the repercussions of lying, and what it does to our heart.

I also yelled. I cried. I took toys away, I took privileges away.

I was spent.

I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong, what was I doing as a parent that made her feel so comfortable in her dishonesty? How could she do this to me?

Then I remembered.

I'm not perfect.


In fact, I'm sort of a lot to handle.

At any given time in my life, I too can be:

Emotional. Sensitive. Whiny. Grouchy. Scatterbrained. Quick to judge.

So who am I....to in essence push my own daughter away?

What am I teaching her?

That if people don't behave exactly as we want,
 we just stop talking to them?

We give up?

No.
 Never.

So I loved. 

I stopped focusing on how I wanted her to behave. 

What I wanted her to do.

I focused on who she is.

She's a girl who sings every day, without fail. Who loves all animals. Who cleans up around the house without being asked. Who enjoys folding laundry.  

Who loves lip gloss, nail polish and sparkles.

 She lights up a room with her hugs and smiles. 

Even writing this, I feel that shame of not realizing these wonderful things about her, in my frustration.

But I know enough to swallow my pride.

And apologized. And asked her to go on a date with me. A girls only date that she had put on our "Summer Wish List" and I selfishly had been ignoring because of my attitude. 

 Shopping, taking silly pics, buying nail polish and sparkly things.



But most of all.....

Showing Love.

A month away, deserves a special day!

So, it's been awhile since I've blogged. 

I've been busy enjoying the river, and actually MAKING Pinterest 

projects instead of just well...pinning them like I usually do!

But it's a special occasion my friends, tomorrow I am going in for an outpatient surgery, nothing major....but I'm nervous so prayers are always welcomed and appreciated.

But that's not the special occasion, no no.

 Tomorrow my kids will be watched by my mom and dad, 

as my Chief takes me out of town for the surgery.

Nope, that's not the special occasion either 

(well it is to my kids)

but tomorrow...and the reason I must stop doing craft projects to blog and brag is because it is my Mom's birthday.

Yep, that's right, she is watching my kids for me...on her birthday, that alone is a big deal to me.

 But the sweetest thing about it?

She offered. 

The surgery dates they gave me were for the day of her birthday 

(which I immediately mentally blocked off,

 because I wouldn't dream of asking her to do that for me on her special day) 

or August, which is when mine and Roo's birthdays are.

Immediately, with no hesitation, no thinking about it, no selfish thought involved she said 

"Do it on my birthday!"

When I quickly said "Mom, I can't do that! That's your day...no." she says "..but I want to."

That still makes me tear up.

You see, to have that sweet sacrifice for me...is a BIG deal...because as a child, my mom and I were sort of combative.

And I'll admit, (this may be the only time I admit it, so luckily for her it's documented forever!)

 I was not the easiest child to raise.

 

Pink Bow? That's me! Snuggling up to my mama

Ya see....

 

I was dishonest.

Like when I was chewing a cookie, and my mom asked me if I snuck a cookie and I said no...

with crumbs coming out of my mouth. 

So I wasn't the best liar, obviously. 

*And that's just a time when she caught me!*

I was sneaky.

Like when I was about to get a spankin' for...lord knows what I did that time, and I stuffed Berenstain Bear books in my pants to ward off the oncoming pain...though when I started laughing uncontrollably she was on to me. 

I was sassy.

Youuuu have not met a sassier child, I'm sure. I ALWAYS had to have the last word...and that got me in a lot of trouble!

 

But things changed...so beautifully after I got married and started having munchkins, I not only realized her frustration...I understood her for the first time. 

No longer did I only look at her as the lady that said "No" to me, 

but as the lady that miraculously didn't throttle me!

I thought of the moments that I took for granted...like the fact that she most mornings MADE our breakfasts, like serious good ole giant breakfasts, pancakes, eggs, waffles and such. 

I don't do that! It's a treat over here, but it was a regular thing for her.

Or the fact that she worked very hard to keep our house clean all the time.

I certainly don't do that over here!

 We're "Comfortably Cluttered" in this house.

So where do you think I go for a good cup o' coffee and conversation?

To My Mama.

Who did I call to cry to when my feelings were hurt by someone?

To My Mama.

Who let's us tease her by slipping salamanders in her chair while camping?

Or puts up with us laughing hysterically when we all pose for a picture at Disneyland and she missed the memo:

Who loves her grand-babies with all her heart:

 

Who always makes a point of having family dinners at her house so we can be together:

Who sacrificed her special day so that I could get the surgery I needed....

This gal..my mama.

So to you ...mom, mama, little lady,

Happy Early Birthday!!!!

Love you so much.