Sunday, February 24, 2013

A Love Language Leper

Have you heard of this study?

I hadn't until a few years back, when a friend mentioned it and I was instantly intrigued.

"There's 5 DIFFERENT Love Languages??"

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Quality Time
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Gifts
  5. Words of Affirmation

I got to thinking...
"What could mine be?"

To be honest back when I first heard this I thought "GIFTS!", that's the one!

Because as a child, I always loved getting new things (what kid doesn't?!) and I am a self proclaimed shopaholic, wait let me refine that, I am a self proclaimed CHEAP shopaholic. 

I love my thrift stores, clothing exchanges and clearance racks!
So, naturally that's mine right?

 Well we did this study with our "Married Couples" group and after taking the test I was surprised to find that my highest did not include gifts, but my highest 2 were Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.

Much to my hubbies chagrin Physical Touch really meant that I'm a hugger, always have been.

Sorry babe! But an upside is, I'll snuggle with you like nobody's business!

 Now here's my struggle.

I know there are 5 Love Languages. Where one is not more noble than the other.

But when I hear about those who's top love language is Quality Time.
I suddenly feel like a selfish old poop
Who just wants to hear nice things about herself.

But I had to really stop, pray and listen to my heart for a minute. 


When I really think of Words of Affirmation for myself, I don't put it in the looks category, as in "you look so pretty!", don't get me wrong, I'm always just so appreciative when those sweet compliments flitter my way.

But when I say words of affirmation:

I mean affirming about my character, who I am. Inside.

When those words reach me. 
It feels like most soothing medicine to my soul.

For instance, I have been nervous about homeschooling our youngest all week
(I'll have to blog about the whole home-school beginning sometime!There's a story for ya!)

and one evening while my Chief and I were sitting in the living room talking, there was a quiet moment and he looks at me and says "You know why Peanut wants to home-school right?"
and since I'm ALWAYS so positive about my abilities I said
"Why? Because he can sleep in a little later?"..he tells me
 "No...he's excited...because YOU make it that way. You make homeschooling exciting for our kids"....


They they always do when kindness reaches my heart.
*And also when I'm watching Titanic*

Or when we left our other school for the last time on Friday.
And the teachers and staff blessed me with kind words of appreciation.


Because they know me. They saw my heart.

So, no matter what your love language is 
(and I encourage you to read this book, not just for yourself, but for your spouse, kids or loved ones beyond that core). 

Be happy with it.

Embrace it.

Because it is how our Mighty Creator intended you to be. 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
 You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
 Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
 You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

Psalm 139:1-6

I dub this a Snickers Post.
miscellany monday at lowercase letters


  1. Here I am, creepin' your blog and followin' your entries... ;)

  2. yep. love this book. it gives such incite! mine is words of affirmation. loved finding out my kiddos too!

    1. It's nice to learn how to figure out how to show love to everyone around ya!

  3. It didn't come with a snickers, this is a sad thing. One day, you will be able to dispense chocolate to your readers.

    As someone who also runs on compliments I can relate homie.

    Well written as always, I even had to pull the dictionary out for 'chagrin'. :)

    1. If only I had Wonka Vision!! Then I would have zipped a Snickers right to ya Albert! :0)

      And thank you for the kind words my friend.

  4. i love love the 5 love languages, it is absolutely true and so important to learn what your significant other's love language is and then speak it to them daily!