Monday, July 22, 2013

My imperfections, through her imperfections.

I have a confession.

I'm not the perfect mom.

Whoa. Mind blown. I know!

I love my munchkins, I find myself stopping and just listening to them, 
or watching their interaction and tearing up with gratefulness.

I hug them everyday, I tell them I love them every day. 

I do.

But, sometimes I also get frustrated, I raise my voice when I really 
should just stay calm, I blurt out my frustration instead
 of showing grace and self control.

Confession number two:

And I've been guilty of really, truly disliking my daughter Roo's attitude lately.
I let myself get to the point where I didn't WANT to hang around her.....

Ouch, right?

She had some situations where she was being incredibly sneaky,
 she was outright lying and nothing I was doing was making it better.

I showed her the scriptures that speak specifically about lying.

I had long talks with her about the repercussions of lying, and what it does to our heart.

I also yelled. I cried. I took toys away, I took privileges away.

I was spent.

I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong, what was I doing as a parent that made her feel so comfortable in her dishonesty? How could she do this to me?

Then I remembered.

I'm not perfect.

In fact, I'm sort of a lot to handle.

At any given time in my life, I too can be:

Emotional. Sensitive. Whiny. Grouchy. Scatterbrained. Quick to judge.

So who am in essence push my own daughter away?

What am I teaching her?

That if people don't behave exactly as we want,
 we just stop talking to them?

We give up?


So I loved. 

I stopped focusing on how I wanted her to behave. 
What I wanted her to do.

I focused on who she is.

She's a girl who sings every day, without fail. Who loves all animals. Who cleans up around the house without being asked. Who enjoys folding laundry.  
Who loves lip gloss, nail polish and sparkles.

 She lights up a room with her hugs and smiles. 

Even writing this, I feel that shame of not realizing these wonderful things about her, in my frustration.

But I know enough to swallow my pride.

And apologized. And asked her to go on a date with me. A girls only date that she had put on our "Summer Wish List" and I selfishly had been ignoring because of my attitude. 

 Shopping, taking silly pics, buying nail polish and sparkly things.

But most of all.....
Showing Love.

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