a letter to remind myself..

Dear Bekah,

  

So, home-school....

It's our second year now. 

You've learned a lot, about what works, what doesn't work. 

 That your not perfect. 

You and the kids will lose your patience, you will feel so done some days. 

Like those days that feel like we're stuck in a time loop from Lucifer,

 going over the same math concepts with seemingly no comprehension.

But we also know that after many hours, many tears...many "huffs of frustration"..

there will be that day, when they GET it. 

Their eyes light up, they smile so wide, and I jump up and clap excitedly because they DID IT!

Take that, square roots! Take that, multiplication!

We've also been through the gamut of  emotions of others approval, the articles, the raised eyebrows the "knowing yet truly not knowing" looks, the "Oh boy...I could NEVER do that, I enjoy my down time too much!" comments.

We've learned to not take those to heart so much.

Yes, there will be that day when you already feel like your failing, and your in the store with your kids and you look defeated, and you run into someone that doesn't agree with or understand your choice.

It's ok.

This doesn't make them right, but it also doesn't make them a bad person, or a spiteful jerkface like you may have categorized them in your mind last year.

 (sorry...I blame the math concepts)

Some people just will not get it right now, or ever.

Here's the thing though....this was put on YOUR heart.

Yes, you remember that moment. 

So, when days come up where you feel like you are failing:

Failing in their education.

Failing to have them "properly socialized".

Failing to get them in the right PE program.

Failing to get all their folders in order for your teacher's visit. 

Remember why your doing this.

Those 100% grades they got.

Those days when your "shy guy" walks up to another child he's never met, holds out his hand and confidently says "Hi, my name is Jackson. What's yours?"

Those sunny days you jump in the car and drive to the beach for PE.

Those reassuring smiles you get from your teacher, telling you your doing just fine.

*thank you Liz!* 

You can do this..

But not alone:

  with many prayers raised up to Him. 

Whether quietly to yourself during a particularly frustrating concept 

or literally on your knees sobbing and asking why He chose you to do this.

source

 ²⁸ "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 Matthew 11:28-30

with serious support all around you, from your Chief, to your parents, to your homeschool group, to your encouraging friends.

 A friend loves at all times,  

   and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

  

He's got you covered.

 

source

So go out there and SHINE!