Humbled

Home-school

Just hearing this word elicits a variety of responses and feelings, such as but not limited to:

"Isn't that an Amish thing?"

"Don't they grow up to be TOTALLY weird?!"

"But what about socialization?"

"I could NEVER do that! But you have fun!"

*then walk away, feeling like that homeschooling mama has lots her marbles*

To the first question I say: I have no idea, my Amish culture is limited to the Beverly Lewis novels!

*great books though!*

To the second I would say: Yes...yes they do.

*Pssst....I'm a old time homeschooler!*

To the third: I say each kid is different and they will most likely be who they are deep in their heart no matter what location you school them in.

To the last I say: I KNOW right?

Cause I said that too.

I was THAT gal.

The one who literally before her firstborn was even OUT of the womb said,

 "My kids will NEVER be home-schooled! They are going to be social,

 they are going to be involved in school activities, 

and on and on and on my silly little 

"Life is going to go exactly as I have planned it"

attitude prattled away.

Oh you ignorant girl.

You just wait.

We pursued public school like it was our last drop of water, after a week of walking in the Sahara!

*that's a bizarre analogy, but hello I warned you. I was home-schooled!*

And it just didn't work.

Jackson's first year was kind of ..awful.

To be fair, he is a shy guy. He has social anxiety

 (much like his daddy)

and at 5? 

Yeah he wasn't having a great time!

Then when my daughter started Kindergarten (in 2010), we switched schools and life was great!

The teachers were so kind, so caring and they weren't labeling Jackson OR Ryleigh,

 as we had experienced  previously.

They were making friends..ish.

No super close buddies, but ya know...

they weren't holed up in a corner rocking back and forth saying

 "Take me hooooome!"

I immersed myself in PTSO, got to know the staff at the school like family

and felt elated knowing that  in September of 2012,

I would be a free woman, yes that's right. Gavin my last munchkin was enrolled and ready for learnin'!

Then right before summertime.

He spoke to me heart.

"Bring Ryleigh home"

to which I replied

 "Eh? What's that? You clearrrly spoke to the wrong heart, that's ok Lord!

 I love ya! But whew...that was a close one!"

He kept pressing on, and I caved. I answered the questions "Whaaat? Why??" with "because we need some girl time, one on one her and I! It'll be SO FUN!"

Then He spoke to my heart.

"Bring Jackson home"

*nervous laughter*

"ha...that's uh...that's funny God. But you know how shy he is, I'm going to be doing him NO favors bringing him home. I appreciate this heart to heart but...I'm...gonna ponder that one!"

Then like those flashbacks in the movies I saw my shy guy. 

His big blue eyes looking at me with sadness and in that instant I knew I was being selfish to ignore the call.

And guess what?

My fears? 

Washed away like dust on a rainy day.

my fear that I couldn't teach Roo, because I sort of wanted to run away everytime she had homework from public school?

Washed.

You go girl!

She has to my humble heart went from getting 9 out of 14

 wrong on her spelling test in September to getting 90-100% every time now

She feels confident in her answers, with this extra time we have she is able to pursue her "heart work" like art,and music. 

She is free to sing (and she takes this quite literally) EVERYWHERE.

 

my fear that Jackson's shyness would snowball into paralyzed fear at the outside world?

Washed.

Reading to Peanut while he's sick

He has to my humble heart become MORE outgoing, he has become so happy in who HE is, he is reaffirmed, he desires to reach out to the community, he desires to see the world through his own eyes at his own pace.

He is free to be the boy who kisses my hand, everywhere we go.

my fear that I couldn't POSSIBLY contain the wildness that is Gavin?

Well according to this post, that's not totally washed, but that's not due to homeschooling, that's due to what I feel is God thinking I deserve a little testing here and there. ;0)

but that fear really has been 

Washed.

He has to my humble heart, thrived in the work we're providing.

 He's EXCITED to take a new test, to listen to what I'm teaching his older siblings, to soak up every.single.thing.

We have been blessed so abundantly by this experience, I sometimes want to shake my head like those Looney Tunes characters that just saw something crazy.

I am humbled.

Field Trips, Community Outreach and Crafts..all part of being a "Homeschool Homie"

We still get asked how long we're going to do this and instead of saying "Oh we'll play it year by year" like I did at the beginning. 

I say "We're doing this til God directs my path elsewhere."

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

~Deuteronomy 6:6-9

They are my loves, and I will do my best to make this experience one that evokes memories of laughter, love and time together.

And really...how normal CAN they turn out with a mama like this anyways??

~Bekah